Ironman (Prelude)

So…I just completed my first Ironman Triathlon last June 20th (2008) in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. In fact, it was my first triathlon ever….

I can remember being a kid and for whatever reason I would always catch the Ironman Hawaii on the television. I would sit down some random Saturday to watch Wide World of Sports (the one w/ the ski jumper) and for whatever reason, the hour or hour and 1/2 broadcast of Ironman Hawaii would be on and I remember saying to myself how cool it would be to do that one day. Well, one day turned out to be 28 years later, and Hawaii turned out to be Idaho, but the distance was the same and the feeling of accomplishment was second to none.

I have a few friends who participate in triathlons regularly and whenever the subject of triathlons would come up, I would half jokingly say that when you are ready to do an Ironman, give me a call and I’ll do it with you. Well, my bluff got called in June of 2007 – my friend Teresa gave me a call and told me that she would be up for doing the Ironman in Coeur d’Alene and wanted to see if I still had interest? She continued by saying that Ironman events sold out quickly and that we would have to sign up about 1 year in advance to assure that we could participate. This was on a Friday and she said we had to sign up around 11 am the next Monday. Even though the event was a year out, it might have been the next day because the nerves that I was feeling were as real as ever – truly, who was I kidding by attempting one of these – I hadn’t swam since I was a kid, I knew I could do the bike, and my only marathon attempt was an agonizing 4:45 in San Diego, and it was agonizing (I had to use the handrails on stairs for 4 days after the race and every step I took was painful).

Monday came and I felt like a high school kid trying to call a girl for the first time – I had all the information filled out, but I just couldn’t click on the submit button. I was on the phone w/ Teresa and she finally hit submit, and I followed suit – holy shit – what did I just commit to?

Now it was real – 1 year out and I had a lot to learn, let alone train for. I was in the process of training for the Triple Bypass (120 miles from Evergreen to Avon, Colorado over 3 mountain passes) which was about 3 weeks out. I felt good about my ability to get into shape for the bike. I had the Denver Marathon in October ’07 which I had not started or even thought about training for, and I had not been in a pool in about 20 years (other than on vacation, etc…)

The Triple Bypass comes and goes – 9 Hours and 42 Miutes of riding and I felt pretty good at the finish, but the question that I ask myself as I finish is – can I run a marathon? The answer was “No”.

Fast forward a month and now I’m 45 days or so out from the Denver Marathon. As always, I have grandiose plans of how I am going to train like an animal for these events and voila, I’m close to the race wondering if I am going to be able to make it. I’m doing the Ironman w/ my friend Teresa who is also a coach for CWW, so I ask her to tell me what to do and I promise to do it. For my previous marathon, I ran 15 miles once and that was the only time I ran over 10 – most of my training runs were 9.5 miles and that was it. Now, I was told that I would have to run 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, and then 12 again before the marathon. Painful as it sounded, I agreed to it. Also, she would have me do 9 / 1 (9 miunutes running, followed by 1 minute of walking) – fair enough even though I thought it was a cop out. Running a marathon is supposed to be just that running, not walking, but I promised to follow the plan. So, all the runs hurt, especially the extra 2 miles that was tacked on to each run until I got back to the 12 – I flew (for me) on this run and actually turned it into a 1/2 marathon which I did in just about 2 hours – wow this marathon things could be pretty cool.

Race day comes and it’s mid 40’s and rainy and windy. Do I stay in shorts, or opt for something longer? Jacket or not? Yikes, it’s friggin cold out. I opted for shorts and even though, by mile 18, I was having a tough time opening gels due to numbness in my hands, I persevere. By Mile 20, I see the clock at 3:20 and think to myself that all I have to do is run the next 6 in an hour and I will have destroyed my previous marathon time. Sure enough, I cross the line in 4:20 and change and set a pr for myself. There is something to this following a plan thing. As much as I was against the 9/1 run, it worked wonders for me – I was still in some pain, but I did manage a sprint to the finish which was not available to me in San Diego.

So, here we are in mid-October and I feel good about my biking and just set a marathon pr, but have yet to get into the pool. Oddly, enough, even though I am psyched about the marathon, I just can’t get out and run – I think I ran once between October and the end of December. I biked a few times, but I am just burnt and with the Ironman looming, I just don’t have it in me to train.

Around Christmas, I ask Teresa to give me plan for the Ironman – you gave me a great plan for that marathon, so give me something that will work for the Ironman, please. I am still dumbfounded that I just can’t motivate to train – I’m in the ballpark of 6 months out till the Ironman – who am I trying to kid – if I don’t get started soon, there will be absolutely no way that I am going to finish this race – I still haven’t even swam in the pool, let alone open water.

So, Teresa gets back to me and tells me that the Ironman training is a little out of her league, but gives me the names of Pete and Kathy Alfino w/ Mile High Multi Sport ( www.milehighmultisport.com ). she tells me to give them a call and then to tell her what they say. Both Pete and Kathy have completed several Ironmans, so who better to coach you. So, how many triathlons have your done – um, none. How’s your swimming? I was on swim team when I was 11 & 12. How much have you swam? Maybe 10 lengths total. Looking back, I can’t believe that Kathy was willing to even coach me. She went on to tell me how she qualified for Kona and I could just see how tenacious this woman was. Done, train me. Sure enough, she wanted me to workout on January 01 – with a name like Sean Patrick Reilly, I am used to taking many January 1st’s off, but this one I did not – I think I hit the treadmill for an hour or so. Workout 1 down, only who knows how many left. I was so impressed with Kathy that Teresa decided to sign up w/ Kathy as well.

My first swim was that Friday and Pete and Kathy were going to assess where I was at. Needless to say, I was quite nervous about this. I really did not want to hear that I was not going to be able to do this based off a swim. I ended up getting a lot of good pointers, was taugh
t some invauable drills, and was given my first workout – 10 x 25 yards (25 yards is one lenght of the pool – I think I was going to have to do 174 lengths to get to the 2.4 miles necessary), 10 x 50 yards, and another 10 x 25 yards as a cool down.

So, here we go – 30 of 31 days in January I am working out 1-2 times per day, and I am not hating it. I am scheduling my real estate work around my work out schedule and while it’s tiring, it is going well. I can now swim 8 lengths in the pool without stopping and have been running on the treadmill and riding the stationary bike.

February, March come and go – things are ramping up and I am seeing progress everywhere. I am so much stronger in the pool, runs are still fairly short, but don’t seem tough and I am itching for warmer weather to really be able to bike outside on a regular basis.

April comes and so do the workouts. Here is where it was awesome to have a training partner. Rides were getting to be 5 hours w/ 45 minute runs right after and runs were getting in excess of 2 hours, so it was just nice to be able to do this w/ someone else.

May comes and one day I get out of bed and bam – holy shit am I in phenomenal shape – bring this Ironman on – I am ready. Mind you, I still have not swam in open water, but I was having some seriously good pool workouts. And then, mid May comes and I have a long, but terrible ride and I’m like there is no way that I am going to be able to do this. Then the next week it’s back to bring it on and so on and so forth.

About the end of May was the first time I got to swim open water. I bought my first wet-suit ever and was ready to take my pool skills to the Chatfield gravel pond and bring it. I did for the first 1 minute and then I was out of breath and freaking out – this wet-suit was so constrictive, I could not breath. I’ve got to stop – how far have I gone – there is no way I am going to finish the swim. Teresa is swimming with me and she stops an smiles – you’ll get used to it – the first time is the hardest. And, I’m thinking about all the miles on the bike and run and the endless laps in the pool and here I am 1 minute into a swim and I am toast. Take it slow is what Teresa tells me and I start again – slowly. I stop a minute later and float on my back – another minute of swimming and it is starting to get a little better. I think we end up doing about 1/2 mile that Satuday morning and I am back to how in the hell am I going to be an Ironman if I can’t swim.

Now I am pissed – I have put all this work into getting ready and I am less than 1 month out and I can’t hardly swim open water – what is the cut-off – 2:20 for the swim – I might be able to make that, but I feel like I deserve a better time because I’ve worked so friggin hard at the swim. Okay, I’ve got a month – get in open water whenever you can and just work on it. Chatfield is open on Monday afternoon and I go for it again w/ similar results – damn. Tuesday night, Pete Alfino and a buddy of his Matt have the Grant Ranch Lake open ( www.openwatercolorado.blogspot.com – awesome course ) – I go there and I am as far away from shore as possible and I freak out big time. I am totally alone out there and can see shore, but there is no way to get their attention. Every time I put my head in the water, I think I see sharks, alligators, beavers – you name it, I think I’ve seen it. I roll on my back and start trying to catch my breath. Why are you on your back – if a shark is in the water, you are toast. How am I going to make it back to shore? I was freaked and yes, I was in a lake in Colorado (not even 1 mile long or 1/2 mile wide). So I just start kicking and tell myself – just get to shore – slowly. I putter along and get to shore and share my story – I remember 2 kids being at the beach area who just start laughing their heads off. I guess this happens – Pete gives me a couple pointers and I head back out to do another lap. This time I am more relaxed and comfortable – I stop a few times, but get 1/2 mile done in a decent amount of time. Progress.

My last open water swim was the Tuesday before the Ironman – I only swam 1.5 miles, but I kept increasing the pace and basically sprinted the last 500 meters. I am ready.

I leave Thursday morning w/ Teresa and another friend doing Coeur d’Alene – Trish. We land in Spokane, get our rental car and head to Coeur d’Alene where we find out rental home (thanks Char). It’s about 15 blocks to Ironman Beach – we walk down there after getting settled, get registered and do some shopping. The only thing I really want from the event is a round 140.6 sticker to put on the car, but I am superstitious and won’t touch the sticker till I am done. I do get a hat and a couple coffe mugs, though.

After that, we head back to the houe where we meet up w/ Steve (another coach w/ Mile High Multi Sport) – he had driven our bikes from Denver to Idaho and tuned them as well. That done, we nap, head to the supermarket and start getting our transition bags ready. It’s Teresa’s birthday, so we head to Outback for some steaks only to find out that the manager had a medical emergency which left 2 rookie chefs in the kitchen. Steaks were 45 minutes late and way overdone, but the Hot Fudge sunday for dessert was perfect.

Friday was a day to get acclimated – we headed to the swim beach to test the water. Due to the heavy snows in the Bitterroot Mountains, snow pack levels were at an almost all time high – water temps in the lake were in the low to mid 50’s all of June. This was our chance to see how truly cold the lake was. Indeed, it was chilly – I ended up doing 1 lap (1.2 miles) and was surprised how numb my hands and feet were. I opted not to wear the neoprene cap and booties they recommended, so I was a little concerned, but I figured the adrenaline of the day would offset any numbness. The race officials had rented 3 hot tubs in the transition area for anyone who needed after the swim. I didn’t want to waste time in a hot tub, but I knew it was there if needed.

We got out of the water and I have to give a nod to Gatorade here – they had an area where we could store our stuff while swimming and retrieve it when we were done – no charge and they gave us a bottle of gatorade after pick up. Thanks Gatorade – a class act – one of many at the Ironman.

We hit Ironman village again, then headed home to drive the bike course w/ Steve. Steve suggested we drive 40 miles of it and ride the first 16 which we were all for. The course is 2 – 56 mile loops, so what we drove, we would ride twice. I’m guessing about the first 10 – 15 miles were awesome – flat and easy, the next 25 were beautiful, but hilly – nothing huge, but consistent rollers. That done, I felt pretty good about the biking portion. We jumped on our bikes for the first 16 – a nice spin around Lake Coeur d’Alene w/one hill. Dinner and more preparation for Sunday and bed.

Saturday, we finished packing our transition bags, our special needs bags, and brought the bikes to the transition area. It was now getting real – 6 months ago, I was nervous, and now I was one day out – nervous, but eerily calm – I really can’t explain that. With the bikes safely in the transition area, we were basically done. I was told to just sit around all day which is what I did. We went to dinner at Tito Maccaroni’s – I had spaghetti bolognese and a glass of wine and felt good to go. Went to bed around 9 in anticipation of getting up at 3:30 am. I woke about 1 to some powerful thunderstorms and pouring rain – I remember thinking how cool would it be if they cancelled the race. Trish forgot to reset her watch off of Denver time, so she was up at 2:30 – I figured what the hell – I’ll get up and get an early start. That is, till Teresa came out of her room and made everyone go back to bed for an hour. I slept and I didn’t – in and out trying to visualize the race and transition areas. Now it was 3:30 and I was up – big doing for breakfast as I was
going to do eggs, bacon, hash browns – the whole 9 yards. Steve told us to get about 1000 calories in our systems before the swim, so I planned on pigging out. I don’t know if it was the nerves, but I sucked at cooking breakfast – I burned the bacon, almost set the house on fire by putting the oil in the pan too late – breakfast was cooked and ate, but it was not my best work.

Now it’s 4:45 and time to go – all the pacing back and forth and trying to remember if I had everything was over. Also over was heading into the bathroom every 5 minutes – Steve kept reminding us – poop twice, poop twice.

We got to the beach around 5 am and it was quite light out – thanks summer solstice. We got marked, headed to drop off a couple bags, pose for a couple of pictures and then around 6:15, we started getting the wet-suits put on, the body glide, the ankle chip, the goggles, etc…. Off to the beach for more pics and then to wait for the start. I remember seeing the hordes of people and just being astonished at how many people were doing this race. Listening to Mike Reilly over the p.a. system, though I don’t remember hearing what he was saying, listening to the national anthem, and hearing Bitterweet Symphony being played. There was no countdown that I was aware of – then, bang went the cannon signaling the start of Ironman Coeur d’Alene 2008. I hugged Teresa and Trish, wished them well and started strolling to the water….

Here I was getting into the water for the first time in a triathlon – I knew what to expect, but I had never experienced it before. I felt like I could swim quite well thanks to my training, so I started swimming and made it about 100 yards and ran into a wall of people – where could I go? – there were just a bunch of bodies in front of me and no where to go and they were treading water – I want to friggin swim – move – I couldn’t find any open water and I started to panic. The water was relatively calm, but it was still splashing into my face while I was treading, and getting into my lungs. How could I be out of breath at the Ironman and only 2 minutes into the race? I did what I had learned and rolled on my back an relaxed myself. There were people behind me, but they were not pressuring me. I laid there for about 30 seconds and got my composure. Steve (the coach staying with us) had been saying all weekend -KEEP MOVING FORWARD, so I rolled over, saw a little daylight and started slowly. Rather than sight for the buoys, I sighted for open water feeling like a running back trying to shoot the gaps. Soon there was a decent amount of room and I headed for the 1/2 way point of the 1st lap. Thinking I had this figured out, I cut the first turn as close as I could and ran into a cluster of people – no way out of this one, I just treaded water toward the return buoy and was pulled along. I did not swim, but was dragged by the masses to the other turn buoy that would put me on course back to the beach and the turnaround for the 2nd lap. I went wide on the turn and started for the beach. This is where is hit me for the first time of the day – I am doing an Ironman and I started to choke up – the reason I am doing this is because I was able to follow Kathy’s plan for me – in my mind I was already an Ironman for sticking so closely to the workout and this event was just the icing on the cake.

Lap 1 almost done. I distinctly remember as I neared shore, hearing Mike Reilly’s voice over the PA – I had no idea of what he was saying, but I knew I was getting close. I continued my sighting for open water and was still hit by a few people, but now had built the confidence that I could swim with these people. I hit the beach on the first loop and remember hearing my name over the PA – “Sean Reilly from Littleton, Colorado” and I pumped my fist as I headed out for the 2nd lap. You have a lot of time to think in the water and my strategy for loop 2 was to go wide and try to stay in open water so I wouldn’t have to stop. I proabably swam and extra .2 or .3 of a mile, but it was worth it to be able to swim basically uninterrupted. Every once in a while, someone would swim in my path, but it was bearable. I went wide on the turn to avoid the cluster and then I was on the return path – time to start thinking about the bike. I am not cold – the water felt warmer today – no need for the hot tub – just get my shit and go. Closer and closer to the beach until I was standing and walking towards the transition area. Fans lined the beach and the chute to the transition – they were screaming and yelling – it was awesome. 1 Hour 18 Minutes – I beat the cut off by over an hour.

I ran to get my wet-suit stripped. Volunteers were awesome and had me out of the suit in seconds. I ran to get my t-1 bag and they yelled my number and someone had my bag for me – volunteers were just phenomenal. I ran to the tent and sat down to get ready. A volunteer came right over and poured my stuff out – what do you want. Since I had just pulled my tri-suit off and was totally naked, I went with the bike pants first, then chamois butter, shirt, etc…. I was good to go All the while that I was getting dressed, the volunteer was packing my wet-suit and swim stuff – volunteers were unreal. A quick stop at a portable urinal in the tent, then to get the bike. A volunteer spotted me and ran me to my bike and I was off. I had put on my Garmin for heart rate purposes and had an issue w/ the watch getting to the right satellites for the first 8 miles, but after that was handled, I was off…the first 30-35 miles were awesome – the crowds screaming, the seamless aid stations, the beauty of the lake. Then, into the rollers and I felt strong, after all, I had trained in the foothills of the Rockies – I was going strong and passing a lot of people. I was also being passed, but I felt like I was passing a lot more people than I was being passed by. I remember the first loop, there was a guy with a tray of shots of beer – I thought about it, but opted against it. I was feeling great and kept motoring on. The only thing that was concerning me was that I was peeing at nearly every aid station – I was feeling good, so I let it slide. I hit the turnaround and saw Teresa about 3 minutes later – she was hauling ass – since we had trained together, I knew what she was capable of and I honestly thought I would have had a better lead at that point. I am a competitive person and always strive to win, but it was funny here because I really wanted to beat Teresa. After I saw how close she was, I started thinking about how I was going to explain to my friends how I got beat by a girl (which I got beat by a lot of them that day), and then I thought how am I going to talk her into doing another Ironman, so I can beat her that day. Anyway, that is exactly what went through my mind at that point. And, if she did beat me, I would have been fine with it, I just try and find ways to motivate myself. I’ve been competitive my whole life and I have learned to get beat – it happens to everyone.

Lap 1 rocked, but I kept peeing – about 4 times now in 60 miles. Now I’m 70 or so miles into the race and entering the hills again around Hayden Lake (beautiful, as well). My legs are not responding as well on the hills and I am not passing as many people as before…in fact, my legs are feeling dead on some hills. What the hell is going on? Hills are my bread and butter. Another hill and the same deal – now I’m 80 miles and not feeling well. Where are my legs? What the hell is going to happen on the marathon? Shit!!!! I keep peeing and drinking and peeing – mile 90, I puke. What in the hell is going on? I puked in my mouth, spit it out and keep going. There is no fucking way that I am going to stop!!! Then, it dawns on me – I have not been taking my salt tablets – could that be the reason? I started taking enduorlytes from Hammer to deal w/ the heat of running in Colorado. Water seems to just pass through my system, but when I am taking salt, my body retains the water and it keeps me cool
er – thanks Kathy. So, I had put a bunch of enduorlytes in my Perpeteum drink, but it was not enough. Thankfully, I have a nice slow downhill, fish the tablets out of my jersey, and start opening them into my water reservoir. Some girl passes me and says something, but I can’t hear her. Three tablets later, I take a drink and game on again. Literally, that fast. I am far from perfect, but I feel better. And, now I am out of the hills w/ 15 miles to the finish which is flat / downhill. I pour it on and I am not passed the last 15 miles – in fact I pass 20 – 30 people in this stretch – bike down, marathon to go. The 6:04 on the bike feels like less than 3 hours – I can’t explain – the event was surreal. 8 minutes in transition w/ awesome volunteers, a minute getting lathered sunscreen by more awesome volunteers and I go under the RUN START sign.

The run – I thought I would hurt on the start which had been the case on all my bricks (long bike followed by run workout). Kathy (my coach) said I would be ready and I was. I started out and was going to run from aid station to aid station and walk thru the stations – a variation of the 9/1 that I had trained with. 9 minute mile 1 (for me that was great), and it continued. I posted a few solid miles in the beginning, but my puking kind of caught up with me. I get out of the first loop area and am working my way out of town when I hear someone yell my name – it’s Steve and Rob (Teresa’s husband) – seeing them was just what the doctor ordered. Rob was not going to be able to make it due to a new job, but found a way to fly in that morning and was in Coeur d’Alene by the bike – if you want to talk about a supportive husband, Rob is the man. Back to the run, I was now taking the salt regularly, but was worried about my stomach, so all I was eating were orange slices. I was afraid that I would not be able to hold anything down. Then I had to hit the porta-potty for some #2 business around mile 5. The run still felt good, but I was worried about eating. Keep Moving Forward kept ringing in my head and I did. Aid station after aid station passed, but I had to eat – i needed the calories, or else I would just bonk. I ran up the hill around the 7 mile mark – the biggest of the hills on the run and just continued to do what I was doing – get me to mile 16 and I will gut it out if I have to – I don’t care – I’ve come this far. Then Teresa catching me creeped into my mind again – if she beats me, more power to her, she is the better athlete of the day. On my second lap of the bike, I did put a considerable amount of time on her and estimated that I had about 45 minutes at that point – it was more for motivation than anything. Okay, I’m about 5 miles to the half-way point – get there and we’ll talk. I contiued on and took in water, gatorade, and 1 slice of orange at each aid station. Also, I would swallow a salt tab every other aid station. As I get close on my way back to town, I see Teresa with her head down, and shout for her to chunk it out. She looks beat and I’m worried – we had worked out for the last 6 months together and we had a vested interest in getting across the finish line. I think it was mile 11 where I was starting to come back into town to make the loop where they had the course split – if your are heading for your 2nd lap, stay right, if you are finishing, go left. Ouch, close, but no cigar yet.

I hit mile 13 and am making the loop when I hit a downstride and feel two blisters on my toes blow and the ensuing pain. I am in this race, I have choked up no less than 10 times at this point thinking – I am doing an Ironman – thank goodness I was wearing sunglasses – I can’t imagine what people would have thought about a grown man riding and running while almost crying. And, I don’t cry, except for the Adventures of Yellow Dog – he just had to make it after falling into the shaft.

So, I am in this race, I am vested and two of my toes just exploded. My first and only thought – there in no fucking way that I am not finishing this race, I don’t give a shit if I have to run the next 12 miles in pain, there is no way that I am not fucking finishing. 1/2 mile later there was no pain. But, now I really needed to eat – I was hungry, and I still had about 11 or so miles to go. My coach Kathy told me early on about a girl she coached who was having digestive issues and all she did was drink the flat cola they served and drank the chicken broth. I went with the cola, and opted to start slamming power gels at each aid station. It was working – don’t get me wrong, I was hurting, but I started feeling some strength. I started running a little faster – not much faster, but a little faster. My stomach felt good – I’d double up on the gels and double up on the soda – I hit the hill at the turn point and tried to run – I just didn’t have it – I walked to the top and ran down which was painful itself. Mile 21 – only 5 left and I choked up again. Through the aid station with my new plan and back on the road. Mile 23 – I caught this guy and ran with him for a bit – I told him that I should have blown by him, but I didn’t know where my breakaway speed went. Next aid station. I saw Teresa and this time she was in awesome spirits and I could tell by her body language, she was golden. Fear averted, she was going to make it. The last 3 hurt, actually, that last 10 really hurt. I finally saw Trish w/ about 2 to go and she was in good spirits – I knew she was going to make it. Mile 24 1/2, so damn close – why can’t my legs move faster. I was running and walking and running and walking. Everyone on the sidewalks were screaming – it was awesome. Then, there was the left/right split and I got to go left this time. C’mon, I’m and Ironman – 1/2 mile left – I’ve travelled 140.1 of the total 140.6 – I’m there. After a couple of turns, I was on the main drag….I could see the finish….I could hear the screaming….and it was all downhill. The sidewalks were 10 deep on both sides…I couldn’t help but run…it was effortless – there was no pain….it was surreal. I remembered what Kathy told me – take off your glasses and hat (I turned it backwards) and make sure you cross the finish line by yourself for the picture. 12 Hours 26 Minutes and 14 Seconds after I started, I crossed the finish line – holy fucking shit, I did it. And, I didn’t cry – I definitely choked up, and that was it – I was an Ironman. And, I can say that this was one of the best experiences of my life – worth every ounce of effort and every dollar that I spent to get here.

Teresa ended up finishing in 13:38, and Trish knocked out her 4th Ironman in 14:12.

So, I get my picture taken as a finisher and find my way to the transition area to get my phone. I sit down and call Kathy (my coach) and thank her profusely. There is no way I could have trained myself for this event – it was a great race and the best thing is that I feel as good as one can who just completed and Ironman. I check texts and messages – lots’ of people have been tracking me all day long on the computer and a few actually saw me cross the finish line. Every time I went over a timing mat, all I could think about was people back in Denver watching on-line. Hey everyone, I’m still alive and moving forward.

If you actually read this entire blog, thanks. I read a bunch before doing IM CDA ’08 and hope this helps inspire you to just keep moving forward.